Laboure Society
“My vocation does not consume energy; my vocation creates energy. The secular world is fixated on taking, but I choose to give.”
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My name is Ryan Graham. I am called to find God in all things as a priest with the Society of Jesus (U.S.West Province). This is my story.
Though I did not grow up in a practicing Catholic household, I did have some exposure to the faith through my grandparents. I had a challenging relationship with my parents and as a young adult was estranged from my mom. Months before her death, my mom began attending Mass with my grandmother. I decided to join them, and to work on our relationship, which was completely transformed through this time together. When my mom died, her parish paid the expenses for a Catholic burial. That act of generosity touched my heart.
God really got my attention later when I was stranded overnight in a train station in Los Angeles after being robbed. I bargained with God, promising that I would attend Mass if He got me through the night. I did get through the night, but uncomfortably, which in my mind meant that God had not met His end of the deal. So, I dismissed the idea of going to Mass.
Yet a question lingered: why did I make the deal at all? I knew that God was not transactional. Still, I had felt compelled to reach out to God. Within, I knew that impulse to bargain with God deserved exploration.
I approached a colleague with some of my faith questions. He directed me to his parish, where I wound up joining an RCIA class. I began to see the unmistakable fingerprints of the Holy Spirit throughout my life. God had provided reconciliation with my mom, had cared for her burial, and had protected me when I called out in fear.
While I attended church, I still didn’t really prioritize my faith. Instead, I focused on worldly concerns. At one point, I came across Jesus’ words at the Last Supper: “No servant is greater than his master.” I realized that if I made myself a servant to something insignificant — orienting my life to the attainment of any particular thing — that thing would rule me. If I put God first, orienting my life to God’s will, I would be limited only by the limitless.
Living with this realization, my life began to improve immeasurably. The more I relied on God, the less I relied on other things for happiness. I found true fulfillment in my relationship with God.
On All Saints’ Day in 2021, I spent a day in prayerful meditation. I could see clearly how the Lord was transforming me into a loving and forgiving person. In surrendering myself to God, I had found peace. I desired to spread God’s peace, and was drawn to begin discerning a call to the priesthood.
I was led to the Society of Jesus. From the very first event I attended, I felt at home. I am drawn to the Jesuits’ intellectual and spiritual tradition, as well as to their commitment to mission – being sent into the world to save souls.
As I continue to discern with them, I have had key moments of confirmation. The first was the deep sense of peace I experienced on the candidate’s weekend. Later, on a five-day silent retreat, I was encouraged to take a walk with Jesus and have a conversation with him. During this walk, I was able to see through nature’s splendor the hand of a loving God who was calling me.
Through the Jesuits, I hope to answer this call of love, serving the greater Church and the Lord by bringing God into the world. I will surrender myself to whatever mission the Society assigns when the Lord so desires.
Please pray for me and for my fellow Labouré classmates on our vocation journeys.
Feel free to reach out with any questions you might have at: Ryan@rescuevocations.org.
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